A girl and her Hair :My Natural hair Journey

My Journey to hair-ceptance

Recently there has been a movement geared towards women of African descent not using relaxers to alter their natural hair texture.

Some people are all for it, while some people not on board because they say it’s too stressful.

I don’t use relaxers on my hair anymore. Here’s why(the long version).

The beginning

The fact that i am a very self conscious person, makes me worry about what people think of me a lot. It is getting better now ,it used to be way worse before.

When I was 9 years old ,I got into my first year of secondary school. It was difficult to say the least, because all my time had been spent mostly with my siblings .

Obviously, I was the youngest in my class, I preferred to play with Junior students because they were my age.My own class mates were interested in boys, tights and periods,me,i just wanted to play ‘Catcher’.

I used to think I was very ugly, and it wasn’t until 2008 that I finally gained some self esteem.  (side note: one of the boys in my class told me years later that I was amongst the finest girls class ,but let’s not focus on that).

Most of my time was spent trying to fit in and trying to make sure I was deemed mature. So I could be involved in things and not just be the smart, tinrin gbeku, glasses girl.

If I could tell my past self anything it would be to tell anyone who called me childish to shove off because I was still a child.

Discovery and Decision

I am almost ashamed to say this but i didn’t know that not relaxing your hair was an option.I thought leaving it natural was something that only deeper life people did because they were weird.

The person who inspired me was  my friend that did her big chop and I really loved her hair. By that time I was already frustrated with my own mane’s problems. It was a limp lifeless thing that I hated.

I transitioned, I was afraid of looking strange but I kept my head high. When my hair came in, I was Sooooooo happy. My ‘Fro had weight, it felt healthy, in fact my afro was one in town😁

Reminiscing

It’s been a long journey for that unsure, insecure and immature girl who prayed that people would like her. She prepared conversation in her head for whatever new school (I went to 4 secondary schools) ,she was going to.

Embracing my natural hair was a biiiig part of it of how confident I am today. Obviously I am not saying I am completely there yet but I am taking GIANT steps.

I am writing this because I started a new regimen on November 30.It should be for a 3 month trial period and I was just reminiscing on how far I have come.God has to take all the glory for that.

“I love my natural hair because it is a gift that we black women have” -Lola Atobatele

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Some of my favorite natural hair blogs include Black Girl Long Hair, Curl Centric, Craving Yellow.

What are some of yours?
Do you have any hair tips or hair journey stories? Please share in the comments.

Nightmare:The time I was sure I was going to die.

Let’s Consider our Mortality

I don’t want to die yet. Something strange happened to me on Sunday.I fell asleep reading this book:Everyday by David Leviathan. It’s about this person that wakes up each morning in a new body.

I had this strange dream that I was in this dystopian place where I had to fight monsters.I survived a near death experience in this dream.

I woke and with this surety that I was going to die that night. That I was not going to see the next morning. Well you can imagine the first thing I did was break down and cry.

Then I told myself I was being ridiculous and I should shake it off. I couldn’t shake it off, I even told my friend that called me that I might not be here tomorrow (dramatic?).

I got really scared and started thinking of what this would mean for me.The people I love would be sad to See me Go.

My siblings would be devastated, plus I also wanted to try this hair product I just got 😁. I thought of the money my parents spent to send me to school, it could have been used better 😢.

Then I thought of telling my siblings what I was feeling but ,I decided not to scare them. Instead I stayed with them watched small TV and joked for hours before I retired to bed.

Just my Faith 

When I got to bed I cried again then prayed, I told God I don’t want to die but his will be done. If I  die before morning please forgive me my sins and grant me eternal rest in heaven.

I then thought of all the times I took waking up in the morning for granted. I was feeling sleepy but I was too terrified to sleep. Just thinking of all the things I had not done, all the people I hadn’t spoken to in a while.

I prayed some more, felt  a bit calmer then I decided to bite the bullet and close my eyes. Here I am alive and well but with a renewed sense of gratitude for each day.

“To the well organized mind,death is but the next great adventure “ -Albus Dumbledore Click To Tweet