Ennui vibes

Between my Unwanted Friend Ennui and I

It’s been a long long long time hot minute since my last blog post.  Someone actually asked if I was dead because I was not posting 😂. It’s a bit of dark humour but I appreciate it, it keeps me on my feet making sure I can’t just slack off anytime I want.

The time is almost 3 am, I am writing this because I can’t sleep.  Also because I have put it off long enough.

I am listening to ‘Take me Home Country Road by John Denver’ on repeat . There’s a particular line that resonates with me- “Take me home to the place I belong”. Probably because right down I don’t feel like I belong anywhere.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines Ennui as

1.A feeling of weariness or dissatisfaction ;

2.A lack of spirit, enthusiasm, or interest

I have been having one of my episodes where I feel lost and out of place like I should be somewhere else.
Common place things make me depressed and stirs up this desire in me to be alone for long periods of time.

This time my chosen playlist has been sad slow country songs with the occasional Adele and Ed sheeran thrown in. I still smile, laugh even but inside it’s like something is squeezing the life out of me.

Now I can’t remember why I started writing.  But I just knew I wanted to put down this feeling somewhere and since this blog is my diary /soapbox /everything else, I might as well put it here.

Yes I am going to get over it but I want to know if anyone feels or has every felt like this and what they do or have done to feel better.

I just want to assure you guys that I don’t think of self harming or anything. I just want to know I am not alone.

5 Things I am Grateful for

Hi everyone, it feels great to be back, I was under the weather for the better half of last week.

I couldn’t even put out a post on Friday. I am feeling much better though and ready to tackle this week head on.

Sunday was the 50th day of 2017. It’s no big deal but I am grateful, especially after being sick. Which is why I decided to list the 5 things I am grateful for so far.

1. Sewing -I have always wanted to learn how to sew. It’s just a curiosity that has never left and I’m grateful that I am doing just that now.

I have been doing it for almost a month now and I am progressing quickly – not to toot my own horn- my instructor says so.

I have a dream that one day I won’t have to spend a lot of money on clothes. A dream that one day I will sew everything I want and my mama will be jealous 😈.

2. My Blog – How much love I have for my blog is often underestimated. I am the kind of person who overthinks every little thing and wonders ‘what will people think’ ?, ‘is it good enough’ or ‘am I good enough’ ?.

My blog exhausts me and sometimes I want to take a break but, that tiny smile at the corner of my mouth when I am writing a post or when I get a comment – it’s worth it.

The fact that I am still blogging is a testament to my growing up. Yes, I still panic and feel insecure about myself and the blog sometimes but Ada is getting there!

3. Repj360 – This is the name of my friends’ band (yes my friends are in a band, I am cool like that😎).

Seriously though, it’s easy to give up on your artistic dreams given the way our country regards creatives. It is okay to be a Doctor, Lawyer or Accountant (not that there’s anything wrong with these professions) ,people are always praying for God to help you.

Mention a mixtape however, and what you will hear is ‘this one is not serious’ or ‘you just wasted your parents money’.

These guys keep pushing through and I am really proud of them.  I wish I could support them more but I do too little (God help Me). They have 2 singles and a love mash up which are all wonderful but don’t take my word for it, go to their website and check them out for yourself.

4. My KStote bag – Anyone who reads my blog will know that I am a little a lot obsessed with this bag.

NO I am not being paid to advertise but I am super excited that it’s on its way FINALLY!!!! and I think I will do a style post on it soooooooon.

I absolutely love the inscription on it, it’s artsy and inspirational but not pretentious,  can’t wait to show you guys.

5. My Family – This may sound cliché but I don’t care. I love these people because in their own individual way each one of them has annoyed, inspired and loved me.

I’m grateful, for my DD who always asks about my blog even though he has no idea what it’s s about, for my mama who makes me laugh and who I fight with everyday, for CA who is my third pair of eyes and whose random suggestions are always great and manage to fuel my creativity, for EA who is my photographer and my proofreader (I don’t know what I will do when you guys go back to school) and finally for G.O. who should really show more interest in my blog 😒, but is my IG day 1 nigga.

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

What are you grateful for, even if you can only name one, I assure you it will go a long way. 

Let me know in the comments. 

P. S. Don’t forget to Subscribe, I would love to send you exclusive information and a monthly round up…. No Spam I promise 🤚

My First Blogging Failure and How I am Dealing with it.

This week kind of started on a bad note for me. I experienced my first major blogging failure. This is what happened:

I had the perfect post all planned out for the blog. All I needed to do was take some pictures this weekend and for several reasons, it fell through.

Even though I have always had some difficulty with pictures, I didn’t expect it to happen now. Why? I planned ahead and did everything right.

I was very disappointed because that would mean I’d have to move all my posts and my social media (especially instagram) around. This is because I tend to schedule and plan everything ahead.

I felt so depressed I said I wasn’t going to post anything this week. I thought after all how many people are reading my blog anyway,  nobody will know.

Then I thought “YOU WILL KNOW”

It’s true I would know and I would feel it even if no one else did. Several bloggers write about their struggles and the various ways they have encountered failure.

I thought ‘well I will handle it when my turn comes’,  but the thing is it’s hard, thats why it’s called a struggle. I felt crushed and just very ‘bleech’, I don’t even think that’s a word.

As I am typing this, I feel better, not great because, I mean I would still love for things to have gone smoothly.

I smiling a bit because I am blogging and it makes me happy.

 I am smiling a bit because I know I am thinking up ideas to make that post happen.

I am smiling a lot because I know that I am going to have a post up today.

I am smiling because in small victories like this, I reaffirm my dedication and will to achieve something extraordinary.

I am smiling because in small victories like this, I reaffirm my dedication and will to achieve… Click To Tweet

So guys my advice to you – even though this is not my forte- is PUSH THROUGH. 

Bad and unexpected things are going to happen but if you just keep moving, it gets better.

 

My Top 10 ||Favourite Movies Of all Time – How many have you watched ?

Today I am going to be sharing my 10 favourite movies. These are the movies you can watch again and again and again because they are awesome.I am sharing my 10 favourite movies. These are the movies you can watch again and again and again… Click To Tweet

If you don’t feel like reading my whole epistle *just realised this is my longest post yet*, scroll to the end where I made a nice clean list for you. Let’s get started:

1. Harry Potter Film Series:

2001-2011

Fantasy, Coming of age drama, Mystery, Thriller, Adventure, Horror and Romance.

Anybody who is my friend knows that I am a Potter head. I absolutely love the HP series and except if you are living under a rock you have probably heard of them.

I am not even going to try and sell you on them. Why? HP is awesome!!!! that’s why. Just go watch it and let your life be transformed.

It’s a tale of how life can throw us curve balls and mess things up. But with a little Perseverance, Bravery, Cunning, Wit and God willing, some luck – we will triumph even if we lose some things and people along the way.

P. S. Read the books for an added bonus. After which you must go to Pottermore and get sorted.

2. Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street:

2007

Horror, Drama, Thriller, Musical, Crime fiction, Musical drama

I love Johnny Depp – I think he is a great actor, the personal stuff welllll…. not so much. The gist is, I have a thing for horror movies.

Even though this is a musical,  I loved the story and immensely enjoyed it. The movie chronicles the life of a barber who just got out from jail- it tells of the evil that got him sent there in the first place and his descent into what I would call madness.

P. S.  Do not watch if your stomach becomes queasy easily. On second thought go ahead and watch.  BE BRAVE.

3. Mulan:

1998

Animation, Action film, Family film, Drama, Adventure film, Martial arts film, Musical, Comedy drama.

Ah….the tale of Fa Mulan, hero(ine) of China. Mulan is my favourite Disney princess. She is tough, awkward and has personality.

Plus her family is a riot. Please watch this movie if you haven’t and re-watch if you have. Its simple tale about the lengths we go for love, family and honour are timeless.

P. S. There’s a part 2

4. Dead poet society:

1989

Drama film, Teen film.

” Oh Captain My Captain ” this iconic line gave me the feels the first time i watched the film as well as every time after. 

RIP Robin Williams. He made this film come alive, he was also one of the most versatile actors ever. He could go from Mrs Doubtfire to Mr Keating.

This movie shows you in great detail the struggle to be different and not to conform as well as the obstacles you encounter along the line.

It also submits that sometimes dreadful things happen but as long as you touch a life, you have made a difference.

P.S. It has really life changing quotes and messages.

5. The Odyssey(Miniseries):

1997
Action film,Adventure, Science Fiction,Fantasy.

I saw this film first about 10 to 13 years ago and I stayed with me. First of all, I thought the special effects were awesome. However re-watching it last year made me realise how wrong I was.

Second Greek and Roman mythology fascinates me (and I think it even started with this movie).

This movie shows the hero Odysseus’ epic journey to get home after the Trojan war. He faces obstacles, is helped by gods as well as hindered by them. It’s a good family movie with some PG scenes.

P.S. If you like Greek mythology and don’t mind old movies. Check out the OG clash of the titans.

6. The Help:

2011

Romance, Drama film.

This is one of those movies that really echoes the human condition. Prominent in this movie are the Jim Crow or segregation laws.

The movie is set during the civil rights era. It recounts the story of an aspiring white journalist and her relationship with two black maids.

She writes a book from the perspective of the maids showing the racism they encounter at work.

P.S. The help was originally a novel by Kathryn Stockett that was adapted for the big screen .

7. Rush:

2013

Action, Sports, Biographical film, Drama film.

I didn’t think I was going to like this movie at all. Firstly, because it was about Formula 1 and apart from general knowledge, I don’t know anything about Formula 1.

I watched this movie late at night and I found myself watching it again the next morning. The movie is a bit of a biopic, it shows the rivalry between two Formula 1 greats Niki Lauda and James Hunt.

This movie almost made me shed tears, too many ups and downs. All in all, it was a good movie, which I forced everyone I came in contact with for a month after to watch.

8. Rush Hour :

1998

Action film, Comedy, Thriller, Crime fiction.

Anytime I think of Rush hour, the song WAR by Edwin Star comes to mind. I love this movie, it’s a classic buddy cop/action movie.

It is also a feel good movie for those days when you want something to watch that isn’t too serious and has a great story where good triumphs over evil.

P.S. There is also Rush hour part 2 and 3. Plus I hear part 4 is in the works. 

9. Deadpool:

2016

Action film, Comedy, Superhero movie, Romance film, Science fiction film, Adventure film.

Deadpool was the movie that made 2016 IMO. I am assuming everyone has seen this movie.

It’s funny, there’s a lot of fourth wall breaking and the puns are to die for. This is another feel good movie. It is also a super hero movie for people who dont like super hero movies.

If you haven’t seen this movie….WHY?

10. The Shawshank Redemption:

1994

Drama, Thriller, Crime fiction.

This movie tells the story of  a banker, Andy Dufresne who was given a life sentence in Shawshank Penitentiary for the murder of his wife and her lover, despite his claims of innocence.

The theme of hopelessness is persistent in this movie. It almost makes you lose faith in humanity and the whole ‘the truth will set you free’ and ‘you reap what you sow’ mantras.

It also teaches that at the end of the day, there’s a tiny ray of hope that calls us to push through and take by force what we feel we deserve. This movie is epic.

P.S. The movie is based on a book by Stephen King called ‘Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption

Here is a list of my movies, if;tldr
1. Harry Potter Film Series 
2. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
3. Mulan
4. Dead Poet’s Society 
5. The Odyssey
6. The Help
7. Rush
8. Rush Hour
9. Deadpool
10. The Shawshank Redemption 

I would love to know your own favourite movies.

I would also love to know any movie recommendations you have for me….old or new.

 

Why you should Love your Accent: This Igbo girl’s view .

Let’s Talk about my Accent.

I have an igbo accent, well not really but when I pronounce some words you can tell I am from the eastern part of Nigeria and I am proud of it.

I really don’t know why people see accents as a mark of intelligence.When I was in school I really abhorred all those girls that used to put ‘R’ everywhere in the name of sounding tush – ‘whort is that‘.

The ones that killed me were our American accents- Oh my God. How do you have the accent of a country you have never been to. Even those who have stayed there a while only have slight accents.

Someone who spent a single summer of their 19 year life in Chelsea will now be speaking with an accent- B*tch please.

A person’s language patterns develop fully by the time they are eleven or twelve, so their base accent will always be the same.

Now of course if you are in a certain place it will affect your speech, intonation and what not. But for God’s sake don’t come here and be giving us horrible accents after a 2 week vacation.

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with improving elocution. Learning to speak so that people everywhere can easily decipher what you say. However, ridding yourself of your accent should not be your primary goal.

I always make fun of accents, I poke fun at myself when I say ‘Craydeet’ instead of ‘Credit’😄.No matter what part of the country you are from, I will probably laugh at your accent.

Now I don’t do it to be mean but I think it is one of those cultural quirks that amuse and define us at the same time. The same way I find Yoruba Agbadas funny because of the movements involved in keeping them at a place.

I laugh at igbo people that have ‘R and L factor’ . My friends laugh at me because I can’t say ‘Surulere’without biting my tongue 😢. I don’t mind because it’s just one of those things. The same way I laugh at their ‘H factor’ incidents.

At the end of the day i never assume anybody is stupid because of how they speak English. It’s not our mother tongue and if not for colonization, we have no business speaking it.

I am more inclined to believe that those people with their synthetic ‘accents’are the stupid ones. There more productive things to do than waste time trying to sound like someone else and failing woefully at it.

So embrace that your accent, improve your vocabulary and don’t apologize for the way you sound.

” An accent is someone speaking your language with the rules of their language ” – Trevor Noah Click To Tweet

What is your take on accents?

Let me know your views on this post, because I know some of you will disagree.